Five or six years ago, Michelle would have been a small blip of water cooler gossip only recognizable by a select few and forgotten by next Tuesday. Today? Well, bless her sweet little psycho heart.

It's possible, with some practice, she could get creative and sell some future employer on her, now public, psychotic tendencies as traits that signal a sincere passion or ambition for her career... but, when it comes to dating? Bless the poor soul who didn't watch The Bachelor and mistakes her crazy eyes for a sparkle-filled gaze. Yikes.

Let it be known, I did my part.